Sight

I smile because I am scared as hell

2005-11-25T23:31:00.000-08:00

Amused yet
Totally confused

Upfront and forgot the words
A breath searches the chords

Eyes meet
Hearts beat

Simple pleasure of butterflies
The tickle of a breeze
Swims inside
Feelings collide
It all happens on the
inside

Ending light turns to night
You are feeling right
She’s in your sight

But you can’t even touch her

She’s a dream cocktail
You can’t have a sip
Taste that bittersweet
Pretend she hangs from
your lips

Stop
Believe
Why not you?

jibber jabber

2005-11-25T00:53:00.000-08:00

I dunno where it came from but, I think I am finding some of my old writing habits. Late one night I sat down and wrote this. I still wanna play around with it some more but for now this will due.

Crimson flowing through
Pumping necessities
Feeding entities within one
Creating memories
Remembering fatalities
Amber ashes
Scorched finger tips
Burning nerves
Lingering tears
Withering flowers
Disengage
Embarking in new feelings
Starry eyed hopes touch the sky
A smile lingers

On the river I paint the trees

2005-11-08T15:28:00.000-08:00

haha yea, I go to the Potomac at the Great Falls and I decided to paint some more trees. Why you ask, I'll tell you why. Because the water was soo boring and I couldn't find a spot I liked. But I came to this nice little path going up to the canal where I sat by the water. It was me and another girl from my class so we had it all to ourselves out there and weren't bothered by passer bys. However, I still haven't finished this but I will soon because I really like how its coming along. The light is attacking the painting so you cannot see it, I had only blocked in the basics and put down an underpainting with no details. The second day I got into the details. I'll get some more pictures up after I get a little further and when I remember to make another post.

I did have a good time there and I did get pulled over in the parking lot by a cop who thought I look suspicious because I parked funny to take pictures of my car with the red and yellow trees behind it. So yea that was interesting, he was acting like I was gunna killa cop too. "Please stay right there" "Don't move" "Can you show me registration, wait wait, let me watch you get it" all awhile he had his hand on his gun. Then he asked me what I was doing there. .I told him I was in a painting class and we are painting there. He then got that look like "I'm a moron" haha he felt dumb. After that, I spent about one and a half hours trying to find a spot to paint... I think I walked about 2 miles carrying about 30 pounds of crap. Anyways I took a few pictures that turned out pretty good and I might want to get a few printed. The other picture is the falls obviously. I was going to paint that but I thought it would take me way too long to get anywhere with it. Plus there were a bunch of people in that area and I didn't want people hovering over me while I painted. I don't need to worry about others and what they think right now, I need to focus on painting first.

Back in Action

2005-10-24T05:23:00.000-07:00

Ahh yes the lack of postage, this I know. Anyways let me give yous guys some updates on the goods here. Lets see I went out to a new site located in Olney MD. A lady in the class knew of a farm which we could go paint on. Too bad it was about a 40 minute drive there. But it was fun non the less. The first day out there it was on the verge of pouring rain upon us. This is the painting looking out onto the fields and cows. Moo moo. Then for the second visit I didn’t want to work on the same piece because I wanted to take advantage of the sunshine. So I relocated myself next to an older building which I have absolutely no idea to what its purpose was. But it was interesting to me and I couldn’t wonder around the farm anymore taking pictures. I think I walked around for an hour taking the pictures before I settled down. The wind that day was intense and I had to chase down the towels a couple of times. Then for the final and third visit, it was gloomy again and I decided to work on the first painting again. This time it actually decided to rain. It sucked because it was about 50 degrees outside and with a breeze. My hands weren’t use to the cold and weren’t doing what I wanted. And as you can see I did not have the proper umbrella attachment, so I had to ghetto rig an umbrella with my camera strap to the easel. It worked fine for covering the painting but I got soaked. But it was a really fun time out there complaining with all the others and running around looking at everyone’s progress. A few of us actually danced in the rain and yea haha. Over all the experiences of painting outside were and are great, its much more different than staying in the studio or indoors somewhere. Painting in the rain was pretty cool and I felt like a pro haha even though I almost got sick that night from it. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
This past weekend I also sold a painting, well actually it was one of my first studies of oranges to a friend of my mothers for a few bucks. The lady said she wanted me to get more still life’s done and she will be back. So would you say I have a client now? Haha I also just got a new job at Plaza art supplies. Should be fun, people there seem cool and well can you say discounts? Haha Now I wont go too broke over the art supplies I need.

On the "ROCKS"

2005-10-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

Literally I was on the rocks my last painting class. I made my way to the site and once there, I must have walked about for a good 30 minutes trying to find the right spot. Well after jumping a stream and climbing some treacherous jagged rocks... Well not really, but I did climb with all my gear to a beautiful spot on the rocks. had to take pictures of the feat… the awesome feat of getting my easel up and actually staying put. I thought I was going to lose it to the gusts of wind and watch about 300 bucks of art supplies fall into the watery abyss. That did not take place and I can only hope that when I return to the spot next class that I may be so lucky to get the easel up like that again.

It was so gorgeous painting there. From watching the animals do their thing, to the friendly kayak’ers who wanted a look… I don’t recall having this much fun in the environment in which I painted. I am seriously getting more involved with my art. I am finding myself with the want and desire to paint more and better not just to sell my works and get loads of money but to further along my own abilities. Both in the art world and my life. My painting is teaching me new things that I can incorporate into my everyday life. Whether it be for myself to not worry about making a mistake or to slow down and enjoy what I am doing… I take it all in stride.

So here I leave you with some pictures of my feat. I am quite proud of myself I must say. And well you got a shot of me being a moron so heh. Enjoy.

Lastest

2005-09-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

Ok not much here to talk about other than the fact that I have about 7 pieces that I started and have yet to finish. All are landscape pieces. I am finding it hard to even come close to finishing a painting during the class period. Maybe I need to just work faster. Its a painting and I am trying to make it perfect. I have to just accept the fact that it wont be perfect.

Well this is the lastest place I went with my class to paint. It was a nice little town and this caught my eye. So heres one of those paintings that hasn't been finished yet.

I Produce

2005-09-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

Well well well look what I have here… Some paintings and some graffiti.

The piece with the eye is...well... you know who. And if you don't it was my most recent girlfriend. It was to be a gift for her but before I finished it shit hit the fan, then I lost motive and it was hard to even look at it. However, a recent visit by my friend Melissa (fellow artist) gave me a reason... haha well she made me promise to finish it. Eh... I am actually thinking of leaving it unfinished for sentimental reasons. A reminder of the relationship... how it was so meaningful and then boom its over without any kind of closure. Sorry to bore you with that but then again you find out a little about the meaning and reason behind the painting. The eye is done with acrylic paint (this is my favorite medium), while the fruits are done in oils (I do NOT like these but I deal). The fruits were done last spring semester in my first painting class. I was impressed with how I did... working with oils still intimidates me because I don't really know what I am doing... yet.

The graffiti was random… I did it while I was watching the movie King Arthur. “freedom” was said a lot and the reason speaks for itself. I like parts of it but some I don’t. You might be seeing a revamped version pretty soon. I also have two landscape paintings that I will put up after I work on them a little more. I don't think they are ready for their debut.

And today I was out at Butlers Orchard painting in an apple orchard. I thought I would snag some pics with my crap ass phone camera.

You can see we had to paint a close up or blown view of our choice. It was hot out and the sun was beating down, so I made my way down the hill all by myself... I guess I am the only one who was smart enough to paint in the shade. I parked my butt just so that I still have my subject in the sun, it was prime. (even though cloud cover was off and on... cloud cover is shown in the pictures) But I missed the call for the critic and showed up 10 mins late haha. Oh yea, apple orchards might sound like a nice place to paint in but no no no there are a million bees trying to fly and crawl into ever hole in your head.

New art classes

2005-08-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well I started my art classes for this fall semester. One is Art History II which should be more interesting that my previous art history class because it is about actual paintings. Unlike the last class which taught me about architecture and buildings from the time of the cave man to the time of Romans and Greeks. This will be a good class. Actually know some people in this class as well.
My second art class is Painting II. This one scares me a little, I’m not going to lie. I go in the first day and I only see Asians who are usually really really good (no I’m not trying to stereotype or be raciest, its just a fact… they are freakin good) and everyone else is a senior citizen… all taking the class for audit because they have taken the class 10 or more times already. They all know one another too. We will be going off campus to different locations to paint landscapes and I have never done this. I have never attempted to paint landscapes like this…Hell I never painted outside.
I’m the youngest in the class so hopefully I will learn not just from the Professor (who has a spot in the magazine American Artist) but everyone else too. This guy is well known around the art world it looks like. Read one of his articles in the mag and it was very impressive. So this should be a good experience for me.
I was also a little worried about going to off site locations (some are up to 40 mins away). I have a class before that which could cause a little problem. My car is out of commission right now too. And on top of that, I had to spend a shit load of money to get everything for that class… over $100 in paints, over $200 for a portable easel, $50 in brushes, then there’s the ongoing costs for paper, brush cleaner, and palettes. I haven’t even gotten everything I need… I’m so poor now.

Anyways, I have been working on a painting that is turning out pretty good. I should be done by this weekend and I’ll have a picture up… if not of that then something else to please the crowds… ha crowds hahahahaha…….haha….ha sigh

Oh yea I also have some graffiti that I did and I’ll throw some pictures of that stuff too.

Its kinda like painting...

2005-08-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

Does this even matter? I have written about 25 different things and deleted every single one... Seems like I can never find the words when I actually need them to come.

What can I relate too? How can I express myself?

I can look at my canvas imagining things but they will never become if my brush never finds the paint.

Painting… It’s actually really similar to painting. Lets see… I have painted before and I have been told I’m pretty good at it. I haven’t done too much but I have produced some. Now, I have tried to get back to painting. I feel I should be producing some really good paintings. I know I can. But what I didn’t realize is that I just don’t have the experience here. I am good but I still am learning. I expect myself to make no flaws and when I do I freak out and want to start over again. But now I have gained yet more insight. With painting you are going to mess up here and there. Its a fact you WILL mess up, but you can always paint over it, fix it, make it work for you. I know I can fix these mistakes I make. I want my paintings to be complete and meaningful. I want to finish them with the same meaning as it had when I started.

I just hope the paint doesn’t dry to fast.

Shit hit the fan and broke the fan...

2005-08-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

HA I think that title is great. I don't know why but it is. anyways I am sitting here on my ass writing in this blog thing again. So I thought I might try to accomplish something because as of late I haven't. Well I actually have it just feels like I haven't. I recently went to my buddys bay house and got some great pictures of sunsets and water sights... and well us being morons and having fun.

So I was writing this blog before then I was dumb and closed the wrong window and yea I forgot some of what I had... sigh. yea so I do have some cool stuff to show you people. here goes some pictures that I will paint or just blow up and frame. These are just a few from oh about 600 shots.

Next post I'll throw up some shots from my trip to Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Boston. Good stuff. But thats for the next post. Gotta have something for later ya know? haha anyways... Recently I have thrown down some sketches for the Black and White and I also sketched up some cars like always. But the Black and White pieces will be tagged along by a little story or something something.

Hope all is well with everything everyone else is doing and experiencing. Well even if its bad, you still are experiencing and that is what will give you knowledge and wisdom later on... I think. haha shit go ahead and do what you want. You only live once right? and you only truely die once... so until you die then you can still go on... I might be dying but until I die I will still be living.

So much to say

2005-08-11T21:58:00.000-07:00

I am doing pretty good right now seeing how much of my life has been going down the shitter. I got to see my cousins in CT. I went to my buddies bay house. I caught up with a buddies that I shouldn't have had to catch up with. My car is going to be fixed soon. I went to work to find out I don’t need to come back until the 27th and I will be under a new position in my gym... no more front desk. Now I will be a instructor = mo money. I am taking 4 classes that I actually want to take. Made some money in poker tonight after buying in 3 times... I came out up. I got another cell phone... like that even matters no but its non the less a plus. Over all I have to say I am impressed with how I have dealt with my issues... I'm not as depressed as I thought I would be... probably because of my close friends and family and how they listen to me and help me.

I realized more about what I think love is and should be. I have gained new meanings and beliefs. Honestly I have never experienced a love like I have now. Its powerful and it saddens me when I think about how its going right now. But then again I am not sad because I know I have never loved like this before and I know all my intentions are true to me. I can only hope for the same in return... that’s all you can do in a relationship is hope... you cannot force it.

It seems like people like to do a lot of talking and not a lot of feeling. Or its that they hide their true feelings behind words that don't need to be said if only the feelings where expressed through other means. People have more than just a voice to express. That includes writing too, words coming together to communicate are not the limit between two or more people. When that is all there is then that’s all there is. Nothing more than words... I want more than that. I want actions to go along with it and sometimes I just want actions. Talk and words are great but with out actions its hard to see. "Actions speak louder than words."

I have no order to this blog why? Because right now I have no order in my mind and this is just thoughts spilling out of my somewhat depressed but somewhat inspired mind.

I felt a need to write some of this but this is not filler and I discovered a great saying tonight with my cousin...

BomegaZ: i would write a blog
BomegaZ: but i dont want to bullshit one
CarHonkey: yea
CarHonkey: just do it when ya feel it
BomegaZ: so im gonna wait till i have material
CarHonkey: like when ya gotta poop
BomegaZ: exactly
BomegaZ: yes
BomegaZ: perfect
BomegaZ: great analogy
CarHonkey: so true
BomegaZ: write it down
BomegaZ: needs to be in writing
CarHonkey: oh its goin in the blog
BomegaZ: fuck yea
BomegaZ: brilliant

Try a little harder

2005-07-25T05:19:00.000-07:00

In order for me to accomplish I have to atleast make an attempt, an effort, and try. If I never do this then why should I expect others to? Treat others how you would have them treat you...

Rough times call for me to reach deep down and stand up.

My voice... needs to be heard.

My mind... needs to be understood.

I need to try harder to make the things that matter most stay.

All discombobulated

2005-07-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

Don’t let the world stay concealed

Don’t yield and leave it sealed

Its ours so let it be revealed

Its all coming back...

2005-07-05T03:40:00.000-07:00

Forks in the road… you pick a direction.

A choice made in time.

You live.

You learn.

You feel. Happy. Sad.

You grow.

You create you.

It is what you do with the knowledge you gain.

This is wisdom.

You know what to do but now can you execute…?

do you have it in you?

If it is that important and meaningful…

Anything is possible.

Always remember that dreams are real but your dreams are only as real as you make them.

Realization

2005-06-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

It’s funny how people can go on living their lives before they realize what‘s important… How long it actually takes to find this realization. Its too bad it takes so long for some people to truly live their life. I have to say that I haven’t been up to par with mine. Things that are important to me, I have put aside for things that make me happy. Sometimes, what is important won’t give you instant gratification and you have to do something you don’t want too. You have to get through some speed bumps to make it to the highway. Even then, you can still hit some bumps or even have accidents. But I realized that what was making me happy was drawing me away from what was important to me, what made me… well me.

I realized this from someone who is more than my best friend… my sister. I can’t thank her enough for always being blunt with me when others couldn't and can't, for not sugarcoating everything, for showing me the real in life, for making me cry, for making me "happy", for being there even when she didn’t want too… she realized what was important to her and I was important to her so she was there not because it made her happy but because it was important to her.

I can’t even begin to say how much something like the connection I have with my sister means to me.

Things like this give people inspiration to express what it means to them. Hell I even came up with a nifty little quote… “You have to go over some speed bumps to make it to the highway. Even then, you can still hit some bumps or even have accidents.” I like that you may not but I do so tough. I may not get a painting or picture out of it but I did get something better than that… I got the actual experience, the actual emotion which would provoke a painting or piece that others try to understand. That is what its all about… experiencing what’s important to you… once you realize what that is then you are golden. I realized that my sister is important to me and not just a friend, sister, or teacher… she is important.

I need to get back to what’s important to me…

not just what….

makes me happy…

because happy isn’t everything…

happy isn’t always important…

but important is always beautiful once you realize it…

The Sight Effect

2005-06-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well this is officially my first post about my branch of in the middle, "Sight." I have to say I am excited to see this get underway after the inspirational brainstorming with my family about this. I hope this leads to what we all dreamed it would.

I could sit here and and tell you what I think art is and you may or may not agree but I don't really see a point to that. I like to paint and sketch... things. Ok and well you will see some pieces once I figure out how to use this thing properly. As for now I will try to keep things rolling and keep you people interested.

One day I can be happy one day sad... Moods play a huge roll with my pieces and whether or not I actually start or produce something. So I might have a painting or sketch or I might have a little writing depending of how I want to express. Sometime it might be random... sometimes it might not. It could be beautiful... it could be ugly. I could be inspiring... it could be depressing. This is the beauty of art. The many faces that can be expressed and seen through so maybe eyes looking at something in so many ways... it is limitless.